Charlie Chatter

In a remarkably disturbing display of what happens when Hollywood is in control of a child, the once-sweet Miley Cyrus, in shorts that would make Madonna blush, did a pole dance on the Teen Choice Awards.   Miley, the Hanna Montana star, is just 16-years-old. 

For years, we’ve watched as controversy surrounded the little girl who slowly and tragically is becoming the next Britney Spears.  Just over a year ago, an aging photographer had the young girl take her top off for a photo shoot.   Dad feigned outrage.  But there wasn’t much to it.

Billy – if some 60-year-old woman had my daughter take off her top, the police would be involved.  There would be no peace.   That was the time to step in and take charge once and for all.

You failed.

Last night, at the Teen Choice Awards, Billy once again revealed he has no problem with his daughter slipping deeper into the sleazy world of selling her body at such a young age.  After the dance, the camera cut to Billy, applauding the charade.

What has to happen for a man to trade his daughter’s purity for fame and fortune?

Okay, they didn’t quite say it that way, but the Associated Press article on Christians marrying early due to sexual temptation included this claim: “marrying young is the No. 1 predictor of divorce.”

Their proof? Oh, I’m sorry, they didn’t bother mentioning any.  It’s just a handy assumption.  Turns out, evangelicals tend to marry early and stay married.

Somehow, the brilliant folks at AP didn’t bother to look into that fact.

Realizing the massive carbon footbrint each human being creates in a lifetime, scientists at Oregon State University have come to the conclusion that we do too much to protect the lives of young children.

“Our laws are designed to keep children alive,” explained environmental scientist Josh Thibedeaux, author of the study.  “From the very beginning, we strap them in these incredible pods known as child seats.  Sometimes, in a terrible collision, they’re the only survivor.  To what end?  75 years of spewing carbon.”

Thibedeaux is among a growing number of environmental experts who believe the most effective way to save the planet is to change those laws.

“Car wrecks are often karma at work.  Car seats are anti-karma.”

He suggests, among other things, children be required to sit in the front seat and that babies only get one seatbelt strap, just like everyone else.

“And yet, people come home from Lowes with a tree in their car, and it isn’t buckled at all” Thibedeaux complains.  “If anything, we should have tree seats to keep them safe.  The laws in the United States are so backwards.”

When it comes to health care, the pre-election bipartisan promise vanished like Ted Kennedy at a MADD party.  And on an almost comical note, the Associated Press noticed that Obama’s number problems are “complicating his efforts to pass his top domestic priority.”  Translation:  He’s having trouble lying his way out of this one.

While nearly half in this Rasmussen poll see him as “very liberal.”  More bad news for Obama within:  “For the second month in a row, 53% of voters say the president is governing like a partisan Democrat.”

True, 53 percent is low when you realize how clearly left he is trying to govern.   But only 32 percent say he is being bipartisan.  So even Democrats are starting to realize he’s a lefty.  Soon, only the media will be left in the dark.

This is one of those stories that reveal an entirely different story.  First, they note “a possible drawback to a movement encouraging more vigorous exercise in schools.” 

Are you kidding me?

Not considered in the story:  Today’s bubble-wrapped children and hyper-sensitive teachers are simply reporting more things as injuries.  The possibility becomes more clear with this statement from the study’s senior author Lara McKenzie: “being healthy doesn’t have to hurt.”  No pain no gain, Laura.

When I was a kid, it took a near death to get reported as a PE injury.  Now, if my kid gets a scratch walking through the door, I get a note home.  My children just shrug in embarassment.

First, the story, one of the top three on ABC News this morning, notes “Just under one percent of all couples in the U.S. — or 594,391 people — identify themselves as gay, lesbian or transgender.”  Quite an admission from the media.  Then it notes “about 20 percent of them are raising children under the age of 18.” That’s one fifth of “under one percent.”  How in the world is that a “gayby boom”?

It’s true.  The story explains it’s due to “the bank’s strict policy that employees comply with robbery demands and avoid confrontations.”  Step aside, Jack Bauer,  the sissy world is now seeking Mr. Roper.

My favorite moment from this unbelievable story:  Summers said Obama’s proposed health care overhaul needs funding from somewhere.  

Thank you, economic advisor genius, for that sudden realization.  Then comes this whopper from the story:  During his presidential campaign, Obama repeatedly pledged “you will not see any of your taxes increase one single dime.” But the simple reality remains that his ambitious overhaul of how Americans receive health care — promised without increasing the federal deficit — must be paid for